a meaty story

In my profile I mention that I’ve lost friendships over my son’s behavior. It’s the holiday season and this loss is weighing heavy on my heart, so I’ll get it off my chest and share the story.

About 2 months ago I got a Dear John letter from my friend of 42 years. Anne and I lived across the street from each other since the age of 2, went to kindergarten through high school together, both moved to Seattle for college and had our first child within 10 months of each other. As an only child she has been a like a sister to me. The gist of the Dear John letter was this, “I feel that my daughter is not safe to be around your son any longer.” These are two kids who have adored each other and been the best of buddies since birth. Anne’s daughter has severe peanut and egg allergies and our family, including my son, has always been hyper-vigilant in making our home and meals safe for her. He often asked, “Did her mom say this was safe? Can she eat this?”

One morning after the daughter had spent the night with us, my son woke up in full prankster, attention getting mode. I’ll talk about this again in a future post, but starting about 5 months ago he became out of control in the mornings (I think this is part of the “rebound” associated with ADHD medication). He shouts, runs around, plays not-so-funny jokes, and is pretty much unreachable until I get his medication into him. It’s like dealing with a drunk. On that fateful morning he grabbed an egg out of the carton and cracked it on my friend’s daughter’s head. Yes, I freaked out! She was stripped and in the shower within seconds! Fortunately she was fine, but her mom wasn’t. The Dear John email arrived in my inbox the next day. The email went back and forth a few times, the damage worsened and I don’t expect to hear from her again for a long time. It’s sad. But in my heart I know that my son didn’t equate that brown egg cracking over her head with the dangerous food on a plate, and that he wasn’t trying to hurt her. As his mom I will be his fiercest defender to my grave, whatever the cost to me.